Review: Milkman (Dice Hate Me Games)

Milkman, from Dice Hate Me Games, takes you to a time when people were more directly connected to the origins of their food, much like today’s “farm to fork” movement.

The game casts players as independent dairy farmers who milk their cows, turn raw milk into tasty finished products, and deliver that goodness to thirsty folks in town. Dice drive the game, giving players access to various actions depending on how they roll.

Fresh milk waits for nobody, so let’s load the truck and start delivering the top five things you need to know about Milkman.

Facing the Dice

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Milkman uses custom dice in two colors. Each player gets two personal black dice. The remaining four white dice go to the lead player each turn.

All dice show the same six faces, which represent actions in the game. The iconography makes actions easy to grasp: the money face gives you money, cows give raw milk, bottles process milk, trucks deliver milk, and people claim orders or buy upgrades.

The broken bottle face threw us at first, because we assumed it was a negative result that forced you to discard a milk bottle. Instead, it’s an optional action that lets you discard one of the four available order cards.

Let’s Get Rolling

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Milkman is played in rounds, with multiple turns happening inside a single round. One player is the lead each turn. They get the starting player marker (which is your choice of a super cute milk can meeple or a token showing a milk bottle rack) and four white dice.

All players roll their black dice simultaneously. The lead player also rolls the white dice, which only they can use. Black dice can be rerolled up to three times, but any broken bottles rolled are locked immediately. White dice are only rolled once, although the lead player can spend money to either buy a reroll or choose a specific die face.

In an interesting twist, all dice actions are optional — even the broken bottle. Players can use any two matching dice as a wild result to perform any action. They can also sell dice they don’t want to use to the bank for $1 each.

Playing a Turn

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At the start of the game, flip four “order” cards face-up into position in the queue on the order board and place the round marker in the order board’s first spot. Milkman is time-limited, with the number of rounds depending on the number of players.

During a turn, after all players finish rolling their dice, the lead player takes their first action.

If more than one player wants to either claim or discard order cards from the queue, all players do that first, beginning with the lead player and proceeding clockwise in turn order. After that, players can do any of their available actions in whatever order they want.

After all players finish, the next player becomes the lead. Once everyone has been the lead player in a turn, the round marker advances.

Three Ways to Play

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In the basic version of Milkman, delivering to distant customers gives you one or two extra dollars. That’s a useful incentive, since money drives efficiency upgrades and is also the first tie-breaker at the end of the game.

For a different challenge, flip the player board over and try the advanced version. Instead of extra money, deliveries to distant customers now give you bonus points that count toward your final score. You also earn bonus points for adding cows, upgrading your farm, undelivered milk in storage, and cash in hand.

Your final score is the total for completed orders plus those bonus points to.

Opening the Half and Half

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To really change things up and add an entire new level to the game, crack open the card pack for the Half and Half “inspansion.” This adds three new card types: events, achievements, and goals.

Events affect all players. Shuffle the eight event cards at the beginning of the game, then reveal the top event at the beginning of each turn. Replace it with a new event on the next turn.

Achievements and goals reward various player accomplishments. Achievements are first come, first served opportunities available to all players. When the game starts, shuffle the achievements and reveal one per player. When a player finishes one, they score it immediately, and it goes away.

Goals are private scoring opportunities. During setup, deal two goals face down to each player. Players pick one goal and discard the other. At game end, players reveal their goals and score victory points if they completed it.

Verdict

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There’s a charming, gentle friendliness to playing Milkman. We can’t easily explain the feeling, but we absolutely love it.

Maybe it’s from rolling the dice or the fact that there aren’t any truly ‘bad’ die results. Perhaps it’s the indirect competition that lets you cheer another player’s success without feeling they got the better of you. Or it could be the game’s fun table presence thanks to all those little milk bottles.

Speaking of those bottles, I confess they drove us a little crazy because they fall over and roll around the table so easily during play. Luckily, you can solve that problem if you have access to a 3D printer. Visit the game’s page on Board Game Geek and download the milk crate STL files lovingly designed and uploaded by someone else who got tired of chasing bottles across the table. You can thank us — and them — later.